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Everyone loves a good laugh, so when the tension is high (test time, anyone?) and you want to get your students to relax, why not pull out some of our favorite animal jokes?
From chickens to sharks, lions to monkeys … we’ve got jokes for kids about animals for all your animal lovers. Check out our list of animal jokes below.
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Farm and Pet Animal Jokes for Kids
1. Why did the pig leave the party?
Because everyone thought he was a boar.
2. What has more lives than a cat?
A frog, because it croaks every night.
3. Where do cats go when they lose their tail?
To the re-tail store.
4. What should you give a feverish dog?
Mustard, because it goes with a hot dog.
5. Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all the cows have horns.
6. How often do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
7. What does a kitty eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
8. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
9. What did the cow use to do his math homework?
A cow-culator.
10. What do you call a pig that loves karate?
A pork chop.
11. Why did the duck cross the road?
To show everyone he wasn’t chicken.
12. What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
13. Why don’t cows have feet?
Because they lac-tose.
14. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
15. How do you make a cow float?
Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.
16. Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaahamas.
17. What happens when you shave a crazy sheep?
Shear madness.
18. What do you call a dog with a fever?
A hot dog.
19. What is a cat’s favorite dessert?
Chocolate mouse.
20. Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs.
21. What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
22. What kind of milk does a pampered cow produce?
Spoiled milk.
23. What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
24. Where do cows go for entertainment?
To the moo-vies.
25. How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!
26. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
“Ruff!”
Jungle and Safari Animal Jokes for Kids
27. What did the leopard say after finding two quarters and a dime on the ground?
“And they say a leopard can’t spot his change.”
28. What do you call an elephant in a hamper?
Stuck.
29. What animal is the worst to play a game with?
A cheetah.
30. Why was the baby snake sad?
Someone took its rattle.
31. What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
32. Why don’t leopards play hide-and-seek?
They’re always spotted.
33. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
“Pleased to eat you.”
34. Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssside.
35. Why are monkeys terrible storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.
36. What kind of snake would you find on a car?
A windshield viper.
37. What is black and white and red all over?
A sunburned zebra.
38. What should you give an elephant?
Plenty of room.
39. What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like. He can’t hear you anyway.
Ocean and Water Animal Jokes for Kids
40. What do you call a sea Transformer?
Octopus Prime.
41. Did you hear about the killer whale that could play the bassoon?
He joined the orca-stra.
42. What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
43. What do you call a famous fish?
A starfish.
44. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
45. What made the fish blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
46. What does a fish say after sharing a new idea?
Let minnow what you think.
They wave.
48. What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
49. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
50. Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
51. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
52. Why do sharks live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
53. What happened when the shark tried online dating?
He was catfished.
54. What did the dolphin say to the fish?
You need a porpoise in life.
Forest and Woodland Animal Jokes for Kids
55. What do you call a miniature porcupine who steals money from people?
A hedge fund hog.
56. Why did the hamster quit his exercise routine?
He felt like he was just going around in circles.
57. What do you call badgers who keep making lists for their mates?
Honey-do badgers.
58. What do you call a porcupine interviewing for a job at a balloon factory?
Unemployed.
59. What kind of owl is always out of money?
A borrowing owl.
60. What has six eyes but cannot see?
Three blind mice.
61. What happens when you cross a balloon and a porcupine?
You hear a pop.
62. Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory, dickory dock.
63. What happened when 500 hares got loose on the highway?
The police had to comb the area.
64. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny.
65. What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
66. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
67. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed.
Flying and Crawling Animal Jokes for Kids
68. Why was the mama robin sad when her chick left the nest?
She had empty-nest syndrome.
69. What do you call a bird who plays sad songs on the guitar?
A blues jay.
70. What do spiders do online?
They explore the World Wide Web.
71. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
72. Why did the spider want a computer?
To create a web-site.
73. Why did the duck cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
74. Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
It used a honeycomb.
75. What bird has wings but can’t fly?
A dead one.
76. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
77. What kind of bird works at a construction site?
A crane.
78. How do bees get to school?
By school buzz.
Other Funny Animal Jokes for Kids
79. What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
Firequackers!
80. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
The hall of flame.
81. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A pie-thon.
82. Where do milkshakes come from?
Nervous cows.
83. What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries?
An investi-gator.
84. What made the witches lose the baseball game?
All of their bats flew away.
85. What do frogs wear in summer?
Open-toad sandals.
86. Can a kangaroo leap higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes, because buildings can’t jump!
87. What is a marsupial’s favorite drink?
Coca-Koala.
88. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
89. Why do French people eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.
90. What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
91. How did Noah see the animals in the ark at night?
With a floodlight.
92. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
93. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
94. What did the clean dog say to the bug?
Long time no flea.
95. Where do you start if a flea has bitten you?
From scratch.
96. Why are igloos designed to be round?
To keep polar bears from hiding in the corners.
97. What happened to the frog whose car broke down?
He got toad.
98. Where do hamsters come from?
Hamsterdam.
99. Which animal is strongest?
A snail. It carries its house on its back.
100. How did they get the hippo down from the tree?
They put him on a leaf and waited until fall.
101. Why was the Australian car towed away?
It dingo.
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