43. When someone asks for your opinion, respond with, “I think I left it in my other pants.”
44. During a pause in conversation, say, “Let’s play a game of who can stay quiet the longest.”
45. When someone asks how you’re doing, reply with, “I’m living the dream. Just don’t ask me which one.”
46. In response to a compliment, say, “Aw, shucks. It’s all smoke and mirrors.”
47. When someone asks for directions, respond with, “Follow the yellow brick road. It’s foolproof.”
48. During a lull in conversation, say, “You know what this moment needs? A dramatic monologue.”
49. When someone is talking about their problems, say, “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
50. In response to a request for help, say, “I would, but I’m allergic to effort.”
51. When someone is talking about their goals, say, “I once had a goal. Then I got distracted by snacks.”
52. In response to a serious question, say, “I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. And I’m a pacifist.”
53. When someone is stressed out, say, “Stress? Never heard of her.”
54. In response to someone’s excitement, say, “Calm down there, turbo. We don’t need any more energy around here.”
55. When someone is talking about their accomplishments, say, “That’s cute. I once ate 10 tacos in one sitting.”
56. In response to a compliment on your outfit, say, “Thanks. I found it in the lost and found.”
57. When someone asks for your opinion on a movie, say, “It was so bad, it was good. But mostly bad.”
58. In response to someone’s complaint, say, “Well, you know what they say. Misery loves company.”
59. When someone is talking about their weekend plans, say, “I plan to do absolutely nothing. It’s foolproof.”
60. In response to someone’s bragging, say, “Wow, you’re so cool. I wish I could be as awesome as you.”
61. When someone asks for your advice, say, “I’m not a therapist, but I play one on TV.”
62. In response to someone’s request for help, say, “I would help you, but I’m on a strict no-helping diet.”
63. When someone is talking about their problems, say, “Have you tried turning it off and on again? Works like a charm.”
64. In response to a serious question, say, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to charge you for the information.”
65. When someone is stressed out, say, “Stress? Please. I eat stress for breakfast.”
66. In response to someone’s excitement, say, “Calm down, Speedy Gonzales. We don’t need any more energy around here.”
67. When someone is talking about their accomplishments, say, “That’s nice. I once won a hot dog eating contest.”
68. In response to a compliment on your outfit, say, “Thanks. I got it on sale at the thrift store.”
69. When someone asks for your opinion on a movie, say, “It was so bad, it was good. But mostly bad.”
70. In response to someone’s complaint, say, “Well, you know what they say. Misery loves company.”
71. When someone is talking about their weekend plans, say, “I plan to do absolutely nothing. It’s foolproof.”
72. In response to someone’s bragging, say, “Wow, you’re so cool. I wish I could be as awesome as you.”
73. When someone asks for your advice, say, “I’m not a therapist, but I play one on TV.”
74. In response to someone’s request for help, say, “I would help you, but I’m on a strict no-helping diet.”
75. When someone is talking about their problems, say, “Have you tried turning it off and on again? Works like a charm.”
76. In response to a serious question, say, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to charge you for the information.”
77. When someone is stressed out, say, “Stress? Please. I eat stress for breakfast.”
78. In response to someone’s excitement, say, “Calm down, Speedy Gonzales. We don’t need any more energy around here.”
79. When someone is talking about their accomplishments, say, “That’s nice. I once won a hot dog eating contest.”
80. In response to a compliment on your outfit, say, “Thanks. I got it on sale at the thrift store.”
81. When someone asks for your opinion on a movie, say, “It was so bad, it was good. But mostly bad.”
82. In response to someone’s complaint, say, “Well, you know what they say. Misery loves company.”
83. When someone is talking about their weekend plans, say, “I plan to do absolutely nothing. It’s foolproof.”
84. In response to someone’s bragging, say, “Wow, you’re so cool. I wish I could be as awesome as you.”
85. When someone asks for your advice, say, “I’m not a therapist, but I play one on TV.”
86. In response to someone’s request for help, say, “I would help you, but I’m on a strict no-helping diet.”
87. When someone is talking about their problems, say, “Have you tried turning it off and on again? Works like a charm.”
88. In response to a serious question, say, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to charge you for the information.”
89. When someone is stressed out, say, “Stress? Please. I eat stress for breakfast.”
90. In response to someone’s excitement, say, “Calm down, Speedy Gonzales. We don’t need any more energy around here.”
91. When someone is talking about their accomplishments, say, “That’s nice. I once won a hot dog eating contest.”
92. In response to a compliment on your outfit, say, “Thanks. I got it on sale at the thrift store.”
93. When someone asks for your opinion on a movie, say, “It was so bad, it was good. But mostly bad.”
94. In response to someone’s complaint, say, “Well, you know what they say. Misery loves company.”
95. When someone is talking about their weekend plans, say, “I plan to do absolutely nothing. It’s foolproof.”
96. In response to someone’s bragging, say, “Wow, you’re so cool. I wish I could be as awesome as you.”
97. When someone asks for your advice, say, “I’m not a therapist, but I play one on TV.”
98. In response to someone’s request for help, say, “I would help you, but I’m on a strict no-helping diet.”
99. When someone is talking about their problems, say, “Have you tried turning it off and on again? Works like a charm.”
100. In response to a serious question, say, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to charge you for the information.”
101. When someone is stressed out, say, “Stress? Please. I eat stress for breakfast.”
There you have it — 101 weird things to say to your friends and family. Remember, the goal is always to make them laugh and brighten their day. So go ahead and share these strange and funny comments with the people you care about. Who knows, you might just become the resident comedian in your group!
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you just couldn’t quite come up with the right thing to say? Whether it’s a social gathering, a text conversation, or just a random thought that pops into your head, sometimes you need a little inspiration to get those creative juices flowing. Well, look no further! Here are 101 funny and random things to say that are sure to get a chuckle out of anyone who hears or reads them.
Ever had someone guess exactly what song was playing in your head? It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it? You can’t help but wonder how they knew.
Did you know that in California, you can’t buy a mousetrap without a hunting license? Just imagine the consequences of breaking that law!
What was the best thing before sliced bread? It’s a question that’s bound to spark some interesting conversations.
Imagine being in a public bathroom stall when someone settles into the one next to you. A little humor can go a long way in easing the tension.
Answering the phone with a sarcastic comment can sometimes be the highlight of your day. “Can’t you see I’m pretending to be busy right now?” is a classic response.
Or, try answering the phone with, “You woke me! It must be true love.” Who knows, maybe it really is!
Dreams can be strange and sometimes downright bizarre. Telling a friend that you had a dream about them doing terrible things is sure to get a laugh.
Offering to be a human alarm clock for a friend can lead to some hilarious results. Just make sure they’re not too startled by your wake-up call.
Responding to a comment with “In this economy?” is a great way to add a touch of humor to any conversation.
Walking into a group of friends and declaring, “It’s done. We should get out of here before the cops show up,” is sure to raise a few eyebrows.
A little bit of absurdity can go a long way. Handing a friend an empty gum wrapper while saying, “I saw this and thought of you,” is a quirky gesture that’s sure to get a smile.
If you’re feeling mischievous, hand out posters with a picture of a rock and the words “Lost. If you’ve seen my pet rock (answers to ‘Falafel’), please call me. He doesn’t know the streets as I do.” Who knows, maybe someone will actually call!
When it’s time for your partner to leave, asking them, “So, have you thought about what I asked you while you were sleeping?” is sure to leave them puzzled.
Hiring someone to edit your work can be a daunting task. Asking them, “How much extra for sorcery?” might just lighten the mood.
Sometimes, the best way to approach life’s challenges is with a healthy dose of humor. “If at first you do succeed, you have only yourself to blame,” is a great reminder not to take yourself too seriously.
Organized people might have their lives together, but they’re definitely missing out on the thrill of finding that one item they held onto “just in case.”
“I’ll know you’re my best friend if you immediately delete my internet history after I die,” is a true testament to friendship in the digital age.
Chin up! “You’re never alone. I’m always mocking you in spirit,” is a lighthearted way to show someone you care.
If you’ve ever watched Marie Kondo’s show, you’ll appreciate the humor in picking up random items in someone’s house and asking, “Does this spark joy?”
Alcohol and writing might seem like an unlikely pair, but as the saying goes, “Alcohol and writing get along just fine. If you want proof, read my blog.”
Exercise can come in many forms, even if it’s just “pushing your luck.” Who needs squats when you have a knack for staying one step ahead of disaster?
Equal opportunity means everyone has a fair shot at failing miserably and then blogging about it. It’s all about perspective!
Starting the year off with a hangover might not be ideal, but at least someone cleaned out the cabinet. Silver linings, right?
Taking the road less traveled might lead to some unexpected detours. “Thanks a lot, Google Maps!” is a humorous take on navigating life’s twists and turns.
Whether you’re looking to inject some humor into a text conversation or a face-to-face interaction, these funny and random things to say are sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face. So go ahead, share a laugh and brighten someone’s day with these quirky and offbeat remarks. G’day mate, put another shrimp on the barbie! 🥕😂
In Australia, the phrase “G’day mate, put another shrimp on the barbie” is a classic greeting that is often associated with the laid-back and friendly Aussie culture. It brings to mind images of sunny beaches, barbecues, and good times with friends and family. But what if we took this iconic phrase and added a twist to it? What if we turned it into a collection of 75 weird and random things to say to people? Let’s explore some of these quirky and humorous phrases that are sure to bring a smile to your face.
From funny puns to absurd statements, here are some of the most bizarre things you can say to someone:
1. “Did you know that cats can make over 100 different sounds, but dogs can only make about 10? That’s why cats are the real vocalists of the animal kingdom.”
2. “I once tried to count all the stars in the sky, but I got distracted by a passing cloud shaped like a llama. It was a llama-zing sight.”
3. “Have you ever noticed how pineapples look like they’re wearing a spiky crown? It’s like they’re the royalty of the fruit world.”
4. “If laughter is the best medicine, then I must be a walking pharmacy. I’m always ready to dispense some giggles and chuckles.”
5. “I once saw a squirrel doing tai chi in the park. It was the most zen moment of my life.”
6. “I have a secret talent for juggling marshmallows. It’s a skill that comes in handy during impromptu campfire parties.”
7. “Did you know that the average person spends about six months of their life waiting in line? That’s a lot of time to practice your patience.”
8. “I tried to teach my goldfish how to play chess, but it kept insisting on moving its pieces in random directions. Checkmate, I guess.”
9. “I believe that unicorns are real. They’re just really good at hiding from humans. Maybe they’re playing an epic game of hide-and-seek.”
10. “If I were a superhero, my superpower would be the ability to make everyone’s socks disappear. Imagine the chaos and confusion that would ensue.”
These quirky and offbeat phrases are sure to catch people off guard and elicit a chuckle or two. Remember, timing is key when using these weird and random statements. Make sure to read the room and gauge the mood before unleashing your inner comedian.
So, which one of these bizarre phrases will you use first? Embrace the weirdness and spread some laughter wherever you go. After all, a good laugh is always worth the puzzled looks you might receive. Let’s keep the humor alive and make the world a little brighter, one quirky phrase at a time.
