‘I Definitely Had the Impulse to Lie’: Lukas Gage on His New Memoir, ‘I Wrote This for Attention’

Leading up to the book’s launch next week, Gage candidly discussed the content he chose to include—and what he opted to omit.

Vogue: I just wrapped up your book—literally four minutes prior. I’m drawn to memoirs for some reason. Are you a fan of them?

Lukas Gage: I appreciate you reading it. I enjoy memoirs too! Demi Moore’s is one that stands out for me, along with Julia Fox’s. She writes with such raw honesty; it’s refreshing and beautifully done.

When starting your memoir, do you consider other memoirs? Thinking along the lines of, Julia handled this, or Demi approached that…

Definitely. I reflect on what resonated with me in other works. I particularly cherished Demi and Julia’s books because they both crafted cohesive narratives rather than just random tales. Each had unexpected themes that left an impression. Julia’s story, for instance, focused on how female friendships and influences played a crucial role in her life. It was refreshing to read a book that felt like a love letter to those friendships rather than a focus on romantic partnerships.

When I think of your memoir, the concept of family stands out—how you intricately wove in your dynamics with your mother, father, brothers, and your late brother’s girlfriend, Tessa. While familial relationships often appear in memoirs, many celebrities tend to gloss over them. How did you navigate the decision on what to share about your family? Did you have discussions with them about this at all?

I see family as a central theme in my book. Interestingly enough, the entertainment aspect only comprises about 10% of the narrative—which might take readers by surprise given the title. I had open conversations about what I was including. There were definitely parts I had to omit, seeking permission where necessary. Initially, my family held concerns about how they’d be portrayed. But I believe we’re all imperfect individuals, much like characters in movies—no one exists in absolutes of good or bad. Once they read my memoir, they felt reassured.

You offered a lot of understanding, yet didn’t let either yourself or others off the hook. I always ponder the concept of the unreliable narrator in memoirs. You openly admit early that you were a liar, which we’ll delve into, yet you also don’t shy away from accountability.

I believe that’s crucial. We’re all charged with the responsibility of our actions, and ownership helps break free from the victim mentality. I won’t shy away from acknowledging where I’ve gone wrong. The interesting parts of the book arise from my failures rather than successes. This memoir is somewhat premature—I don’t have an extensive career to reflect upon—so it’s more about my journey of personal growth, and that’s where my career stands as well.

Did you truly write this for attention? To put it bluntly, I’m curious.

Absolutely, let’s dig into that. By writing this book and adopting that title, I’m inviting critique. A significant part of the theme was my longing for others’ approval and desire to be liked, which remains true even now. When I first pitched the idea during the strike, I felt a void of attention, and I found the title amusing. As I continued to write, it transformed into something I genuinely care about. I’ve never poured more effort into any project before, and while I do seek attention, I now desire it in more nuanced ways. Ultimately, if someone reads this book and feels recognized in their own experiences, that would be immensely fulfilling for me. Yes, I am seeking attention.

That’s a sentiment shared by many. Was there anything you felt crucial to clarify regarding your public persona?

Absolutely. A significant aspect I wanted to shed light on was the extreme and unusual experiences of my childhood. While many might have faced tougher upbringings, I believe they’ll find elements to resonate with. Mental health and addiction issues weighed heavily on my mind, alongside the imperative to humanize my brother’s struggles. Addressing these topics was challenging for me, as I held a lot of frustration towards my brother and parents. Yet sharing this narrative allowed me to better understand them—exposing our family’s imperfections and the love inherent within our bond. Although we all make mistakes, I carry no resentment. Our capacity to love mirrors the lessons we’ve learned on how to love. While I’m not a philanthropist, I genuinely care about discussing mental health and addiction. If this book can assist even one person, that would mean everything to me.

Writing a memoir often leads to intense self-reflection. Did you discover anything about yourself during this process?

<pI learned to be compassionate with myself. I was once quite reckless and made numerous mistakes. It’s a miracle the worst didn’t occur. Initially, I thought of it as mere survival, but looking back, I realized I was erratic and seeking validation through negative means. I longed for someone to comfort me and assure me it was okay to seek genuine attention. Ultimately, I recognized the need to love the tumultuous 13-year-old version of myself and release self-criticism. My battle with addiction stemmed from an obsession with unearthing my flaws. I immersed myself in reading negative comments, seeking out negativity to affirm my insecurities. I still grapple with this tendency, but it was eye-opening to confront how dark my thoughts became, overshadowing the realities of my offline life.

When I pick up a book, I often glance at the first and last lines before diving in.

Ah, so “I killed a kid” and “I put the phone down.”

Exactly. Did you curate those opening and closing lines with intent, or did they just fall into place?

No, I honestly hadn’t given it much thought until you brought it up. It’s intriguing how they connect—the two are indeed related. I had that “I Killed a Kid” chapter positioned differently initially, and something compelled me to move it to the front of the book. Perhaps it was a catchy lead-in, but thematically, it indeed relates to the notion of extinguishing parts of myself in the pursuit of recognition, finally culminating in the decision to put the phone down and not seek validation from that digital realm. It’s a compelling observation.

Returning to the subject of dishonesty, you mention early on that you were a liar, embellishing aspects of your life as a child. Did you find yourself not being truthful at any point in this memoir?

No, I genuinely didn’t lie in the writing. While I do state at the beginning that some elements are exaggerated for storytelling purposes, it’s my own versions of memories that may not be crystal clear since they date back to my childhood. However, the events narrated are entirely factual. I often felt a compulsion to embellish mainly when confronting matters I wasn’t comfortable discussing, though I found ways to inject humor to create engagement. So while that method might seem like an evasion, it’s perfectly viable. The only instances of dishonesty would be dialogue that I made wittier than reality. The narrative as a whole is 100% true.

You noted working on screenwriting. Are you considering adapting this memoir into a film or series? Was that on your mind during the writing process?

I’m not certain how the entire memoir might transition to a show, but I’m open to ideas. I think there are sections that could be adapted effectively. Specific stories, like the boot camp experiences and accompanying discussions I had with Paris Hilton about those facilities, might make for an engaging narrative that highlights systemic issues affecting vulnerable populations.

Would you be inclined to write another memoir?

Absolutely. I just envision keeping it under wraps for a while next time to allow more time for reflection. I also dabble in poetry, so perhaps a cheeky poetry collection might be my next venture—something short and engaging for the readers with short attention spans.

This interview has been modified for clarity and conciseness.