Research on love has largely neglected romance in later life
Alejandro Munoz/Alamy
A scientific conference on love highlighted the lack of understanding about how dating evolves for older adults compared to younger years. Despite limited data, it is believed that dating among those over 50 is becoming more common, prompting researchers to explore how romantic relationships shift in this age group.
“There’s a massive dearth of information,” says Mairi Macleod, who runs Dating Evolved, a program helping women over 50 find partners. “But it’s really important that over-50s have good relationships; we still want to have sex and all the rest of it,” she says.
Why Older Dating May Be Increasing
Several factors suggest an increase in dating among those over 50, as noted by Macleod, who co-presented at the Love, actually and in theory conference in Edinburgh on May 5. The demographic is expanding, with the UK seeing an increase of 3.1 million people over 50 from 2015 to 2025, a trend expected to persist for two more decades.
Rising divorce rates among older adults in Western countries, such as the UK and US, result in more singles over 50, Macleod notes, having married her second husband in her 50s. Additionally, re-partnering after bereavement or relationship breakdown is becoming more socially acceptable.
A Focus on Younger People
Research is predominantly centered on university students and individuals in their 20s and 30s, leaving a gap in understanding dating post-50, as highlighted by Craig Roberts from the University of Stirling, who co-presented at the conference.
Divine Charura, a psychologist at York St John University, explains that love is often perceived in terms of reproduction, typically occurring before age 50. He adds that the most economically productive years are between 20 to 40, drawing more research funding to this age group. “It’s capitalism in some ways,” he says.
Society often overlooks the romantic lives of older adults. “If I say romantic love, you’re not going to think of my 92-year-old patient who still talks to me about her sexuality and romance meeting someone, and having wild sex,” says Charura.
The Pros and Cons of Dating Later in Life
Macleod has initiated a dating program for heterosexual women over 50 in the UK, who may find it more challenging to find partners compared to older men. “There’s a shortage of men with increasing age after about 50,” she says. “Men just don’t live as long, and more men than women seem to be looking for a younger partner than themselves.”
This leads to women competing for fewer age-appropriate men. “[Anecdotally] men are always in short supply in speed-dating events. A lot of times these have to be cancelled because not enough men turn up,” she says.
Macleod’s program, providing six months of weekly group calls, has supported over 200 women in dating. She has gathered insights on how dating later in life differs, particularly for affluent, educated women in the UK. “There are advantages to dating later in life, things like not having a ticking biological clock and being financially independent,” she notes.
“Older women are better able to pick and choose. They generally decide not to have a bloke at all if they can’t find what they deem as a decent one,” she adds.
Macleod and Roberts are planning a study to examine the challenges of dating later in life and offer practical advice for older singles.
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