Love is a many-splendored thing, especially when observed from the outside. In this column, we explore celebrity couples that inspire hope for our own romantic futures, seeking lessons from their well-publicized relationships.
While society has moved beyond the era where “misandry is inherently funny and cool,” epitomized by gifts like MALE TEARS mugs from our aunts, there’s a case for a slight revival. Not to suggest all men are bad, but a lingering notion from my college feminism days is the idea of a male partner who is mainly seen, not heard. A prime example of this is Oprah Winfrey’s long-term companion, Stedman Graham.
Together since 1986, Winfrey and Graham recently made headlines by appearing in public together for the first time in seven years during an event commemorating the 40th anniversary of The Oprah Winfrey Show. It’s been seven years! That’s longer than any relationship I’ve had, which feels a bit unsettling.
Winfrey and Graham, who met at a charity event, were briefly engaged in the 1990s but never married. They rarely discuss their relationship publicly. However, Graham once stated on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2019 that he is “dedicated to [Winfrey’s] happiness.” He shared, “I want her to be the best she can possibly be and she’s done a pretty good job of doing that. For me, I’ve found my own happiness, skills, talents, and abilities, and I’m satisfied with that. I’m happy with that.”
Winfrey has also commented on their decision not to marry, suggesting it might be key to their lasting relationship. She described their connection as a “spiritual partnership,” explaining, “I realized I didn’t actually want a marriage. I wanted to be asked. I wanted to know he felt I was worthy of being his missus, but I didn’t want the sacrifices, the compromises, the day-in-day-out commitment required to make a marriage work. My life with the show was my priority, and we both knew it.”
The notion of such a private romantic relationship for one of the world’s most famous women is intriguing yet logical. If your career is built on being one of America’s most approachable and cherished public figures, maintaining some privacy in your personal life seems wise. Moreover, in a society that often urges women to prioritize romantic relationships over careers, Winfrey’s dedication to her professional journey—and Graham’s evident pride in her success—stands out as subtly radical.
