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American Focus > Blog > Lifestyle > Staying ‘For The Children’? You’re Not Wrong
Lifestyle

Staying ‘For The Children’? You’re Not Wrong

Last updated: May 1, 2025 11:27 pm
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Staying ‘For The Children’? You’re Not Wrong
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The idea of staying in a marriage for the sake of the children seems to have become a taboo in American culture. People are quick to opt for divorce at the first sign of trouble, without considering the long-term impact on their children. Dr. Anita Gadhia-Smith, a renowned psychotherapist, believes that our society’s disposable mentality is to blame for this trend. Instead of working through the normal discomforts of marriage, people are quick to give up in search of an easier solution.

In her book, “Soul Custody: Sparing Children from Divorce,” author Pamela Henry sheds light on the importance of prioritizing the well-being of children in marital decisions. She emphasizes the detrimental effects of divorce on children, citing studies that show children of divorced parents are more likely to struggle in their own relationships later in life. Henry herself experienced this firsthand, having grown up in a divorced family and later going through a divorce herself.

Dr. Gadhia-Smith points out the irony in how parents suddenly prioritize their children’s well-being only after going through a divorce. She suggests that if couples could focus on their children’s best interests from the beginning, fewer marriages would end in divorce. Judith Wallerstein, a renowned researcher on the impact of divorce on children, also advocates for staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children. She believes that children are better off in an unhappy but intact family than in a broken one.

Henry encourages parents to ask themselves four crucial questions to determine if they are truly putting their children first in their decision-making. By prioritizing the well-being of their children and focusing on providing a stable and nurturing environment, parents can mitigate the negative effects of divorce on their children. It’s essential to shift the focus from the marriage to parenting and work together to create a healthy environment for their children.

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In conclusion, staying in a marriage for the sake of the children is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is a commitment to prioritizing the well-being of the most vulnerable members of the family. By putting their children first, parents can create a stable and loving environment that will benefit their children for years to come. In her new book, “Soul Custody: Sparing Children from Divorce,” author Jane Smith delves into the emotional and psychological impact of divorce on children. Drawing from her own personal experiences and research, Smith provides valuable insights and practical advice on how parents can navigate the challenges of co-parenting and create a positive environment for their children during and after a divorce.

Through poignant anecdotes and expert analysis, Smith explores the concept of “soul custody” – the idea that children’s emotional well-being should be prioritized above all else in the divorce process. She emphasizes the importance of communication, empathy, and consistency in co-parenting, and offers strategies for fostering a sense of security and stability for children amidst the upheaval of divorce.

One of the key themes of “Soul Custody” is the idea that children are not pawns to be fought over or possessions to be divided, but individuals with their own unique needs and feelings. Smith encourages parents to put aside their differences and focus on what is best for their children, even if it means making sacrifices or compromises.

In addition to her book, Smith also hosts Club 30 meetings, where parents going through divorce can come together to share their experiences, offer support, and learn from each other. These meetings provide a safe and welcoming space for parents to discuss their challenges and triumphs, and to connect with others who are facing similar struggles.

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To learn more about “Soul Custody” and Club 30 meetings, visit the Soul Custody Press website. For those interested in attending a Club 30 meeting or contacting the author directly, an email address is provided for further information.

Overall, “Soul Custody: Sparing Children from Divorce” is a compassionate and insightful guide for parents navigating the complexities of divorce and co-parenting. By prioritizing the emotional well-being of children and fostering a collaborative co-parenting relationship, parents can help their children navigate the challenges of divorce with grace and resilience.

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