What was the most challenging part of writing about your experience in a cult?
The most challenging part was reliving those memories and emotions. It was difficult to confront the shame and fear that I had buried for so long. But I knew it was important to share my story and hopefully help others who may be going through similar experiences. It was a healing process for me as well.
How did your “One Tree Hill” castmates support you during that time?
My castmates were incredibly supportive. They could sense that something was wrong and they wanted to help me. They stood by me, offered me their support and even provided written statements to help me in my custody battle. I am forever grateful for their friendship and love.
How has your relationship with God evolved through this experience?
My relationship with God has deepened and become more personal. I had to reevaluate my beliefs and find my own spiritual path after leaving the cult. I have found solace and strength in my faith, and it has helped me heal and move forward in my life.
How have you rebuilt trust in relationships after such a traumatic experience?
Rebuilding trust has been a slow process, but surrounding myself with supportive and loving people has been key. Therapy has also been instrumental in helping me work through my trust issues. I have learned to listen to my intuition and set boundaries to protect myself.
As we finish our conversation, Lenz looks out at the Wilmington skyline, a place that holds both painful and joyful memories for her. She takes a deep breath, sips her gin and tonic, and smiles. Despite the challenges she has faced, she is grateful for where she is now and the strength she has gained from her experiences. “Dinner for Vampires” is not just a story of survival, but of resilience, redemption, and the power of speaking your truth.
I’ve come to understand that religion and spirituality are deeply personal and can evolve over time. Going through the experiences detailed in my book helped me to question and redefine my relationship with God. I no longer feel the pressure to adhere to a strict checklist of religious duties in exchange for a good life. Instead, I have found a sense of freedom in embracing the complexity of faith and the uncertainty of life. My daily relationship with God has become a source of comfort and guidance, allowing me to navigate the ups and downs of life with more ease and self-compassion. This journey has brought me to a place of acceptance and openness, where I can embrace my humanity and acknowledge that mistakes are a natural part of growth.
What do you hope readers take away from your book?
First and foremost, I hope that readers find a sense of connection and validation in my story. Whether or not they have experienced life in a cult, I believe that the themes of self-discovery, resilience, and the search for meaning are universally relatable. I want readers to see that it’s okay to embrace vulnerability, to question their beliefs, and to find strength in their own journey towards healing and growth. Ultimately, I hope that my book inspires others to reflect on their own experiences, to seek understanding and empathy, and to find hope in the face of adversity.
What’s next for you after this book?
After the release of “Dinner for Vampires,” I plan to continue sharing my story through speaking engagements, workshops, and other creative outlets. I also have ideas for future writing projects that explore themes of personal growth, spirituality, and resilience. Additionally, I am passionate about using my platform to advocate for mental health awareness, trauma recovery, and the importance of self-care. My journey has taught me the power of storytelling as a tool for healing and connection, and I look forward to continuing to share my experiences and insights with others.
It was a whirlwind, for sure. I had so much to say, so much to get off my chest. It was like a therapy session, pouring all of my experiences and emotions onto the pages. And to have it all come together so quickly, it was both exhilarating and overwhelming. But I knew it was a story that needed to be told, for myself and for others who may be going through similar struggles.
Reflecting on my past, my relationships, and my journey to healing has been a cathartic process. I’ve come to terms with the mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve hurt, and the pain I’ve endured. And through it all, I’ve found a sense of peace and acceptance. I’ve learned to let go of the shame and guilt that once consumed me, knowing that there is always a way forward, a plan B, C, D, E.
As for repairing relationships with my former castmates, it’s a work in progress. I’ve reached out to some, reconnected with others, and found solace in the friendships that have endured. The conventions have been a great way to reconnect with old friends and make new ones. And the “Drama Queens” podcast with Hilarie Burton and Sophia Bush has been a wonderful platform to share our experiences and bond over our shared past.
Apologizing to those I may have hurt or neglected is something I’m considering. It’s never too late to make amends and seek forgiveness. And as for my parents, they have been incredibly supportive of my journey and the book. I hope that readers can see the complexity of our relationships and understand the struggles we’ve all faced.
In the end, writing this book has been a transformative experience. It has allowed me to confront my past, heal old wounds, and embrace a brighter future. I may have rushed through the process, but I know that the words on the pages are honest and true. And I hope that by sharing my story, I can inspire others to find their own path to healing and redemption. But I felt like it was important for people to understand the financial aspect of leaving a toxic relationship, especially when children are involved. It’s not just about emotional and physical abuse, but also about financial control and manipulation.
What do you hope readers take away from your book, especially those who may have experienced similar situations?
I hope that readers take away a sense of empowerment and hope. I want them to know that they are not alone, that there is a way out, and that they deserve to be treated with love and respect. I want them to know that healing is possible and that they can create a better life for themselves and their children. I want them to feel inspired to speak their truth, to seek help, and to never give up on themselves. I want them to know that they are strong and capable, and that they deserve to live a life free from abuse and fear.
For many individuals who have never experienced a paycheck of that magnitude, it can be challenging to comprehend the unique lifestyle that comes with it. It’s important to approach the topic from a clinical and objective standpoint, trusting that the audience is capable of understanding the bizarre nature of such paychecks. Even if someone is not receiving a large paycheck, they may still be facing similar challenges in an abusive situation. It’s crucial for people to recognize that the size of a paycheck does not dictate the presence of difficult circumstances.
The notion of living a lavish lifestyle can be misconstrued, as illustrated by a personal anecdote where a mere $385 expenditure at J.Crew led to a major argument. It’s essential to emphasize that it was the individual’s own money being spent, and the lifestyle was far from extravagant. Transparency is key in sharing personal experiences, acknowledging mistakes, and moving away from cancel culture to allow for growth and learning from past missteps.
When asked about maintaining a relationship with an ex-partner’s family, the response was clear – there is no connection whatsoever, a sentiment that is likely a relief in such circumstances.
The journey of self-discovery and growth is ongoing, with the release of “Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While Also in an Actual Cult)” providing a window into the author’s life experiences. This interview has been edited and condensed for brevity.
Overall, it’s important to navigate complex situations with grace and understanding, acknowledging personal faults and striving for improvement. By sharing experiences and lessons learned, we can all embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth together.
