Throughout my career in managing billion-dollar corporate budgets, I became adept at calculating the payback period for nearly any investment. Yet, well into my fifties, I had never calculated the most critical figure of all: how much money was truly enough for me?
This wasn’t a matter of idle curiosity, like the thoughts that pass through one’s mind while driving. It involved a thorough examination of actual numbers.
My reluctance to calculate this wasn’t due to laziness. In retrospect, I see it as a protective measure, because the pursuit of ‘more’ demanded that the figure remain elusive. The concept of ‘more’ justifies itself: every new bonus, title, or tax bracket seemed essential because no one had determined the endpoint. A specific number is perilous for someone like I was because it can be reached. And then what? The financial question I avoided masked a deeper issue.
The Aha Moment
When my wife and I finally scrutinized our finances, I anticipated confirmation that our lifestyle depended on my current income, implying a noble form of entrapment. However, the spreadsheet revealed otherwise. We required far less than my earnings to maintain a life that felt genuinely comfortable. This didn’t mean living austerely; it meant exchanging luxury cars for something simpler, buying fewer items, dining out less, and abandoning dreams of a second home. What remained was a lifestyle still comfortably above global standards. The trap, it appeared, was never locked, and the years spent there were by choice.
An unsettling realization emerged from our budget review: much of our spending was for appearances. Items like cars, clothing, and wine, which I had justified as matters of taste, were primarily for show. We were funding a lifestyle tied to my career rather than consciously choosing how we wanted to live.
Defining Your True Self
Now, I pose a question to successful individuals that few can answer: have you calculated your actual number? Not just estimated it, but thoroughly computed it, taking into account real expenses and genuine preferences, separating what is essential from what is performative. Precision here is crucial; vagueness allows the pursuit of ‘more’ to continue unchecked.
The next question challenges the underlying values in your spending: what portion brings real satisfaction, and what is for show? A useful test for me was determining which purchases would still matter if no one could see them. Our long dinners with friends passed easily; the BMW did not. Some luxuries are genuinely valuable and worth the expense. Others are merely rent on an identity that inflates with each promotion, leading many affluent individuals to feel trapped.
The final question, which the others shield you from, is: what decisions would you make if you knew your number? For me, the answer led to a significant change within months of our financial review. I told my wife I needed to leave the company where I had worked for over a decade. She was aware of my unhappiness. The number didn’t dictate my decision but removed my excuse. I could no longer claim I had no choice.
This isn’t about promoting downsizing or deprivation. We remain comfortable, and I’m grateful for that. The essence of ‘enough’ is not about austerity but authorship: understanding whether the life you finance is your deliberate choice or one imposed upon you by default. I can’t provide a formula for your number, but I found mine was less daunting than feared. Yours might be too.
Author Bio
Sonny Garg is the author of Desi 2.0: My Family’s American Dream and the Cost of Never Being Enough, (Amplify Publishing, August 4, 2026), a memoir that delves into achievement addiction, immigrant identity, and the pursuit of meaning beyond mere success. An alumnus of the University of Chicago and Harvard, Garg previously served as a White House Fellow and ascended to executive roles in a Fortune 125 company.
Despite reaching numerous goals throughout his life, Garg confronted a challenging question: why didn’t success equate to fulfillment?
Through his writing and speaking, Garg examines how inherited expectations influence our identities and how we can build lives defined by both achievement and meaningful connections. Learn more at Sonny Garg.
