Isabella and Lorenzo are siblings who have faced financial difficulties throughout adulthood. Both are in their 30s — Isabella’s a divorced mom of three, Lorenzo’s a married father of two — and they’re barely making ends meet. Let’s say they have only a few thousand dollars in savings between them.
Their 65-year-old mother, however, has not faced such challenges. She inherited a home and a substantial amount of money when her own mother died, making her a multi-millionaire, and she was also the beneficiary of a life insurance policy when her husband (Isabella and Lorenzo’s father) passed away five years ago. After her husband died, the mother sold the family home, which had greatly appreciated in value since they bought it 40 years ago.
That’s why Isabella was shocked when, on a recent phone call, her mother told her that she planned to spend every cent she had before she died — leaving nothing in her will to her two children. Her mother said she wanted to enjoy her golden years to the fullest and had crafted a budget that would ensure she spent all her money.
Isabella thinks their mom is being selfish, while Lorenzo is worried she’s being reckless. Should the siblings confront their mother about her retirement plans?
While the mother said that she was not leaving her children an inheritance because she wanted to enjoy her money while she was alive, there are other reasons parents may not want to leave their children any inheritance.
Some may choose not to leave their adult children an inheritance because they believe it will make them more self-sufficient, encouraging them to maintain a strong work ethic rather than develop an attitude of entitlement.
Parents may also worry that their adult children will not be able to manage the money they inherit, perhaps even believing their children will squander what they worked so hard to pass on. Concerns about whether an adult child’s spouse will have access to the inherited money, especially if their relationship is not stable, is another reason parents may think twice about leaving an inheritance.
While Isabella and Lorenzo are their mother’s only children, and their mother has not remarried since their father’s death, some parents may choose not to leave inheritances for fear that it might cause family strife. This can include not only infighting among siblings, but also between step-parents and children over who inherits what.
But if you’re considering putting all of your savings towards retirement and with nothing for your family, you may want to consider life insurance as a half-measure. That way, your kids won’t be stuck with hefty funeral costs or other end-of-life expenses when you pass on with an empty bank account.
If you’re looking for life insurance, Ethos offers final expense insurance that includes coverage for funeral and burial costs, as well as health care and hospice bills, mortgage and other debts and credit card bills.
With Ethos, you can get coverage in just 10 minutes online or by phone, with guaranteed approval even with pre-existing health conditions. This coverage can be especially beneficial for seniors and those looking to ensure their final expenses are handled without imposing financial strain on their families. Even better, rates can start at just $9.80 per month.
Ethos also gives you the flexibility to select coverage amounts ranging from $2,000 to $100,000, depending on your needs.
Isabella and Lorenzo may wish to consider having a conversation with their mother about her plans to spend everything she has. And not necessarily to change her mind, but to clarify her wishes and ensure she’ll be taken care of in her final days.
They could start the conversation by saying they’re concerned about her plans and whether she has factored in the possibility of facing health issues as she ages, potentially even requiring in-home or nursing home care.
According to KFF research, many Americans incorrectly believe that Medicare covers long-term care, when in fact, it covers only some skilled nursing facility care. Medicaid, on the other hand, can cover long-term care services, but eligibility requirements vary by state.
Isabella and Lorenzo should make it clear that neither of them are able to pay for their mother’s medical care, and that they would not be able to take time away from work to care for her. Doing so may encourage her to account for medical spending in her long-term plans, if she hasn’t already.
Ultimately, if their mother’s reluctance to offer them an inheritance is rooted in concern that their partners or future partners would attempt to cash in on it, Isabella and Lorenzo could provide assurances that, should they receive any inheritance, they would keep it separate from their marital finances.
Inheritances are tricky subjects that people often avoid, but it’s important to ask questions about them instead of avoiding them outright. Not talking about it makes it difficult for potential heirs to plan for their financial futures, especially when estate plans are kept secret.
Regardless of how the inheritance works out, Isabella and Lorenzo should encourage their mother to speak with a financial expert to make sure she’s got enough money for her plans — whatever those may be.
It’s important to ensure that Isabella and Lorenzo’s mother will be taken care of for as long as she is alive. And while an inheritance would be welcome and provide both of them with financial relief, ultimately, it’s their mother’s decision what to do with her money.
However, given their mother’s millionaire status, it’s likely a good idea to work with a firm that understands her unique needs.
Regardless of what she decides, it’s crucial that she makes her wishes crystal clear. With Range’s legacy planning tools, you can get your ducks in a row today to make sure your family’s taken care of tomorrow. Range offers white-glove financial and estate planning services to those with a high household income, somewhere in the ballpark of at least $200,000.
Even better, Range’s financial advisors can also evaluate your existing estate plan, and even coordinate drafting basic estate plans for you, too. Range even offers wealth tracking, financial planning and long-term retirement strategies.
While typical certified financial planners (CFPs) typically charge 1-2% AUM fees or $1,000-$3,000+ for comprehensive plans, Range offers flat-fee pricing with 0% AUM fees for high-income earners at a fraction of the cost of other CFPs.
If you’re not as wealthy as Isabella and Lorenzo’s mother, you could instead speak with one of the financial professionals at Advisor.com. All of Advisor.com’s experts are pre-vetted fiduciaries, meaning that they’re obligated to act in your best interests.
How it works is simple: Just answer a few quick questions about yourself, like your ZIP code, and your finances. Next, the platform will match you with one to three experienced financial professionals to help you develop a plan to achieve your homeownership or retirement goals — all in just a few minutes.
You can view the advisors’ profiles, read past client reviews and schedule an initial consultation for free with no obligation to hire. From there, you can discuss your advisor’s fees and billing schedule to determine what’s right for you and your budget.
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KFF (1)
This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: My mom plans to spend all her money before she dies — leaving my brother and I nothing. Is she being selfish?
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
