Joining an exclusive club no one wishes to be a part of, attendees gathered at a “Grief, Sweat, & Tears” event this spring. Around 25 men and women participated in a combined barre and spin class.
Post-workout, the group congregated in the lobby, engaging in heartfelt conversations akin to those at a bar, yet centered around loss and grief. People shared stories of loved ones they had lost.
Margot Lichtenthal, a previous attendee who experienced her father’s suicide, shared with The Post, “Discussing such topics doesn’t come naturally to people. But when you’re talking with someone who truly understands your experience, it’s a whole different story.”
After losing her father during the COVID-19 pandemic, Lichtenthal sought solace in solo hot Pilates but still felt isolated, even while attending support groups.
Introduced to Grief, Sweat, & Tears by a cousin, Lichtenthal was intrigued despite the unusual concept of a fitness class centered on bereavement.
“Exercise was a huge outlet for me during that time. It felt like the perfect mix of releasing endorphins and emotions simultaneously,” she expressed.
The events commence with a workout designed to alleviate physical symptoms of grief, followed by a social gathering for attendees to connect with others who have similar experiences.
Though she views herself as open, Lichtenthal found it surprisingly easy to share her story with strangers.
“Experiencing loss can make you feel isolated even when surrounded by people,” she noted. “But sharing your story casually, without drama, was more healing than I expected.”
Fitness … and recovery
Grief, Sweat, & Tears was created by 29-year-old Betsy Kaplan, who lost her father, Joel, to suicide in 2018. Therapy helped, but she felt a need to release pent-up energy through exercise.
“Talk therapy is great, and I support it,” Kaplan remarked, “but combining movement with emotional release is unparalleled.”
Research supports exercise as a tool for managing grief-related emotions, a sentiment echoed by experts.
“Incorporating feelings into fitness routines can be cathartic,” New York clinical psychologist Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa previously told The Post.
Kaplan, a public relations manager, began reaching out to fitness studios, finding many people resonated with the idea.
“No one understands how hard this is. But [Grief, Sweat, & Tears] made me feel seen, which I’ve never felt before.”
Jenna DeNapoli
At SLT Tribeca, where the first event was held in mid-January, a participant who lost their mother found the concept of sweating through grief “amazing.”
“You reach out, and either someone relates or knows someone who does,” Kaplan explained. “Grief is everywhere.”
Participants fill out a form to share details about their lost loved one.
The initial class had 13 attendees. Now, Kaplan manages waitlists and even receives requests from studios to host Grief, Sweat, & Tears classes.
Initially, some workouts had a discounted fee, with part of the proceeds going to grief-related charities. Others were free, often at the instructor’s request, who had experienced their own loss.
Going forward, classes will have a fee, but Kaplan aims to keep them affordable and accessible.
“To go into fitness studios and just sweat—and sometimes cry after such a release—became a part of my daily life,” she said.
An exercise in healing
Grief can be isolating, as Jenna DeNapoli, a nurse and content creator from Long Island, experienced after losing her father to stomach cancer in 2018.
“In my Italian family, we don’t discuss feelings or go to therapy. Everyone loses people; you just deal with it,” the 29-year-old explained.
After sharing her grief on social media, a friend invited her to a Grief, Sweat, & Tears class at Serotonin Club Pilates studio.
Initially skeptical, she quickly became a fan.
“Connecting with people who have faced similar situations is special,” she said. “No one gets how challenging this is. But [Grief, Sweat, & Tears] made me feel seen, which was new for me.”
Though emotional—and despite never wanting to join this club—she regrets not attending sooner.
Just cry (or sweat) it out
Grief, Sweat, & Tears is not a substitute for therapy or support groups. Kaplan’s aim is to offer a space where people can discuss loss openly, without the formal atmosphere of therapy or traditional grief groups.
On social media, the group blends empowerment with dark humor, using terms like the “dead dads club.”
“We don’t use prompts or sit in circles sharing our stories,” Kaplan explained.
If an attendee is near a significant date, like a death anniversary, Kaplan may ask if they’re willing to share their story.
This is how Anthony Martin, who lost his mom to breast cancer in 2011, spoke at a class in mid-March near his mother’s anniversary.
“I felt some anxiety,” the 37-year-old shared with The Post. “But the sense of understanding and community gave me relief.”
Building endurance
Participants enter Grief, Sweat, & Tears events with shared emotions, often leaving with a renewed perspective on grieving.
“The event helped me reflect on grief more intentionally,” Martin reflected. “I think it’s given me more confidence to help others by listening and offering advice.”
For Lichtenthal, attending reminded her to be mindful and present while navigating her loss.
“We often try to cover everything with a Band-Aid when things get tough,” she said. “But this community helps you live through your experience and grow from it.”
Interest in these community events is growing rapidly, with people contacting Kaplan about starting chapters in cities like Chicago and Dallas.
Currently, Kaplan is focused on providing a unique space for those grieving and fostering community.
“I hope people build friendships and networks they can rely on,” Kaplan said. “It’s beautiful to see people hugging and exchanging numbers, building their own community through grief, sweat, and tears.”
