The quarter-life crisis encompasses a series of pivotal stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, and Rebuilding—that many face when seeking freedom from sensations of purposelessness, unfulfillment, and disconnect from their passions. Below, I elaborate on these stages and share my personal experiences.
If you’re navigating the challenges of a quarter-life crisis, this is for you.
Insights from 14,000 Feet—The Onset of a Quarter-Life Crisis
I find myself in the misty heights of the Andes, somewhere in Ecuador. Everything radiates a golden hue—the mountains, the flora, and even the native wildlife.
The weather is bleak, with rain and coldness enveloping me; I am soaked and have slipped in the mud several times—but honestly, I couldn’t be happier.
It was December 2021, and I had never felt this exhilarated or liberated—definitely not during my five years spent bolstering profits for a major oil and gas corporation.
Back at the hostel, surrounded by warmth, people, and playful mountain dogs, the most frequent question was, “How long are you staying in Ecuador?”
Almost everyone would respond with some variation of “Oh, I’m traveling across the continent. I’ve been doing this for nine months,” or “I’ve been in South America for six months.” However, I had to answer.
“Uh, five… days.”
I was compressing everything Ecuador had to offer into a mere week before needing to return to my job in the United States—just the typical experience of los gringos.
If these Europeans, Israelis, and Asians could assemble the resources to embark on long-term travel, what was stopping me?
My entire existence was devoted to the agenda of Big Oil, while I used what little energy remained to indulge in alcohol to escape my reality, leaving me devoid of exploration, purpose, or adventurous spirit.
I was sitting atop a fortune accrued by doing nothing meaningful amidst a lucrative oil career. The issue wasn’t financial— it was the fear of relinquishing my secure lifestyle.
Unbeknownst to me, I had just introduced the notion that would flourish into a fully realized sequence of the quarter-life crisis.
Only in retrospect, after successfully navigating the final stage, would I recognize the parallels between my journey and this established framework.
Note—Statistics
As indicated by a LinkedIn survey, 75% of individuals aged 25 to 33 report experiencing a quarter-life crisis. If you’re feeling lost, know you’re not alone (stressed, apathetic, depressed, isolated, purposeless, withdrawn, restless, or aimless).
Navigating the Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis
Stage 1: Trapped
I wake up, drive to work, clock in, drive back home, pick up my dry-cleaning, hit the gym to maintain my ‘health’, listen to a podcast, prepare dinner, shower, and go to bed. Then I do it all again.
“We endure this for a couple of years, then ask ourselves— is this life?”
Dr. K, a mental health and personal development specialist, characterizes this stage as trapped: the stifling routine of an existence on autopilot.
My occupation earned me admiration from family and friends, who would cheerfully affirm, “You’ve made it!”
As many do, I entered the workforce eager for a steady paycheck after graduation.
The paychecks were substantial, especially when compared to my previous diet of ramen and cheap beers during college.
Nevertheless, the novelty of both money and lifestyle dwindles, while desires for purpose, passion, and a fulfilling life emerge.
Life morphed into a predictable cycle: grinding throughout the week, using weekends as an escape.
For many, this routine is bearable—until it isn’t. The change is gradual at first: a quiet voice questioning, “Is this really it?” But as time progresses, that voice intensifies, urging you toward a tipping point.
Stage 2: Checking Out
I’m done with this nonsense.
Endless meetings, incompetent managers. Colleagues whose lives mirror the one I’m rapidly heading towards—except for you, Will; you’re different.
This is the stage where the mental breakdown occurs. You’ve reached your limit, but your body continues to show up.
This is a crucial juncture in the journey, and as Dr. K emphasizes, attempting to check back in is often a grave error.
<spanThis is where many people find themselves stuck, perpetually dreaming of what could be but failing to take action. We rationalize, “It’s not that terrible. I should be grateful. $100k annually isn’t bad.”
Such internal rationalizations keep us trudging ahead while the sense of emptiness deepens.
For months, I contemplated walking away from it all. I’d daydream at my desk about hiking solo through South America with only a backpack and a burner phone. Initially, it felt like mere fantasy.
Most individuals stagnate here for decades, immobilized by fear, inactivity, and a deceptive sense of safety.
However, for some of us—prompted by an unyielding dissatisfaction—reach a breaking point.
Stage 3: Separation
You need to create distance—both psychological and physical—from what you’ve checked out from.
The fantasies of South America morphed into structured plans. I drafted budgets, timelines, and a fear-setting exercise that solidified my decision.
I coordinated it perfectly: my annual bonus would arrive in April, my lease would expire in May, and I would resign in June. A week later, I’d be heading to Mexico.
Just like that, it became real. I touched down in León, a black duffel bag swinging at my side and a buzzcut, looking just as unpolished as I intended.
I planned on spending a month in Mexico, subsequently touring Colombia, Peru, Chile, Argentina, and Brazil for approximately six months of solitary backpacking. [Note: I didn’t reach Brazil.]
This stage is far from glamorous. It’s gritty, uncomfortable, and often lonely. But that’s the essence. Only by stepping away from the familiar can we carve space for the new.
Stage 4: Exploration
Each town I visited, every mountain I climbed. Long, solo bus journeys, conversations with locals, and engaging with fellow travelers. No Microsoft Teams notifications, no meetings, no looming deadlines.
I felt truly alive again.
However, the real exploration was not solely of the landscapes or cultures; it was an exploration of myself.
Spending an extended period alone and learning to depend on myself in unfamiliar and sometimes dicey locations teaches invaluable self-awareness.
What makes me happy when I’m alone? What principles do I stand by? What can I endure? What brings me genuine joy? What kind of existence do I aspire to build?
When the clamor of a demanding job, social commitments, and urban life fades away, clarity surfaces. Within that clarity, I began reshaping my identity.
Dr. K articulates, “Purpose isn’t found; it’s constructed.” And during those months, I was meticulously crafting my own blueprint.
Stage 5: Rebuilding
As my trip drew to a close, my journal brimmed with aspirations for the life I wanted to create.
“I’ll join a men’s group. Train in Muay Thai. Attend bachata evenings. Enroll in Spanish classes. Mentor through Big Brothers Big Sisters. Launch my own business.”
Upon my return, I executed every single one of those plans—and even more.
I had constructed a new life, and effectively, a new self. The timid, burnt-out corporate cog that left was no more. I faced my fears, dismantled my insecurities, and proved to myself that I could fashion a life worth leading.
It may sound romantic, but trust me—it was earned. Every skill, every new connection, every moment of happiness stemmed from the rigorous effort invested in those earlier stages.
A New Perspective
If you’re grappling with feelings of being trapped or checked out, realize that you’re not failing; you’re beginning to awaken. A quarter-life crisis isn’t an indication that you’ve lost your path; rather, it’s a manifestation of your struggle for a life that resonates with you.
Questioning your circumstances signifies that you care, and that’s the initial step toward creating something tangible.
Experiencing a lack of purpose isn’t a burden; it’s a blessing.
So, where do you find yourself on this journey? Feel free to reach out on Instagram, or contact me any way you prefer.
And if you found value in this article, please share it with anyone who might be going through a similar experience.
Thank you for reading.
