Why I’m Choosing to Have Only One Child
When I welcomed my first child in December, I knew that he would also be my only child. I have made the decision to go one-and-done with kids for a variety of reasons, many of which are shared by women across the United States who are opting to have fewer children and delaying starting a family. With economic uncertainty, the looming threat of climate change, and the erosion of reproductive rights, it feels like a responsible choice to limit my family size. But above all, this decision is driven by what I truly want for my life.
The Trump administration, however, seems intent on trying to change my mind—despite their efforts falling short. An article published by The New York Times on April 21 highlighted several incentives that the White House is considering in an attempt to reverse the country’s record-low birth rate. These proposals include a $5,000 “baby bonus” for each newborn and a “National Medal of Motherhood” to honor women with six or more children.
Unsurprisingly, the public response to these ideas was swift and largely negative. Many questioned who would be swayed to have a child for a mere $5,000, especially when studies show that raising a child in the U.S. can cost nearly $300,000. Instead of monetary incentives, people are calling for policies like paid family leave and universal preschool that would actually support parents in raising their children.
The reality is that many of the voices advocating for increased birth rates are disconnected from the everyday struggles of parenting. Figures like Vice President J.D. Vance and Elon Musk have made controversial statements about parenthood and voting power, despite their own privilege and lack of involvement in childcare. Behind them, a wave of pronatal activists are pushing for a baby boom, as evidenced by events like NatalCon, where the message that motherhood is a woman’s duty was loud and clear.
These sentiments are concerning, as they harken back to dark periods in history where women were pressured into bearing children for the benefit of society. The natalism being promoted by the Trump administration and its allies echoes dangerous ideologies that have been used to oppress women and minorities. From white nationalist slogans to extremist literature, the push for increased birth rates can have troubling implications.
Ultimately, my decision to have only one child is a personal one, driven by my own desires and considerations for the world we live in today. As I navigate parenthood in a complex and challenging environment, I am confident in my choice to prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to my family.
