In the background, Jordan’s face was etched with worry, his eyes fixed on the doctor, absorbing every word. It was a stark contrast to my carefree expression, showing how differently we processed the same information.
Through this project, I came to understand how Jordan bore the weight of my diagnosis alone, never wanting to burden me with his own fears. The book allowed us to have conversations we had never had before, to share our innermost thoughts and emotions, and to heal together as a family.
As we looked through the final layout of the book, I realized that creating “HER2” was not just about telling my story. It was about honoring Jordan’s journey as well, acknowledging the sacrifices he made, and recognizing the strength and love he showed throughout my treatment.
Photography gave us a way to explore our individual experiences and to come together to make sense of our shared journey through cancer. It allowed us to see each other in a new light, to appreciate the depth of our connection, and to find healing in the process of creating something beautiful out of our pain.
Jordan Rathkopf
When Anna first suggested making a book out of the photos we had taken during her treatment, I was hesitant. The idea of revisiting those difficult times, of reliving the moments of fear and uncertainty, was not something I was eager to do.
As a caregiver, my role had been to support Anna, to be her rock and her anchor through the storm of cancer. I never wanted to burden her with my own struggles, my own doubts and fears. I wanted to be strong for her, to show her that she could rely on me no matter what.
But as we worked on the book together, I began to see how much I had buried, how much I had kept hidden from Anna and from myself. Looking at the photos we had taken, I realized that I had erased myself from the narrative, as if my own experiences didn’t matter.
It was a wake-up call for me, a realization that I needed to confront my own emotions and fears, to acknowledge the toll that Anna’s diagnosis had taken on me. The photos we had taken showed a side of me that I had kept hidden, a side that was struggling to stay strong in the face of uncertainty and fear.
Creating “HER2” allowed me to open up to Anna in a way I never had before, to share my innermost thoughts and feelings, and to find healing in our shared experience. It was a chance for me to see myself through Anna’s eyes, to understand the depth of her love and appreciation for me, and to recognize the strength and resilience I had shown throughout her treatment.
As we worked on the book, I realized that my role as a caregiver was just as important as Anna’s role as a survivor. Our journey through cancer had shaped us both in profound ways, and the photos we had taken captured the essence of that journey, the highs and the lows, the struggles and the triumphs.
Through photography, I found a way to process my own emotions, to confront my fears and doubts, and to find healing in the act of creating something beautiful out of our pain. “HER2” is not just a book about Anna’s journey through cancer—it is a tribute to our family’s strength, resilience, and love, and a testament to the power of art to heal and transform.
As I scrolled through the self-portraits, I saw Anna’s journey through her own eyes. The images captured her pain, her strength, her vulnerability, and her resilience. They showed a woman fighting a battle within herself, a battle that I had only witnessed from the outside. In these photos, I saw her fears, her doubts, and her determination to keep going, even when the weight of it all seemed too much to bear.
It was in those moments that I realized how much she had been through, how much she had carried on her shoulders without letting me see the full extent of it. The self-portraits painted a picture of a woman who was more than just a patient, more than just a survivor. They showed me the depth of her pain and the magnitude of her courage.
Looking back at those images, I saw myself reflected in them too. I saw the moments when I had been strong for her, the times when I had faltered, and the instances when I had retreated to the car to let out the emotions I couldn’t show her. I saw the sacrifices I had made, the fears I had carried, and the love that had sustained me through it all.
Together, Anna’s self-portraits and my photographs painted a complete picture of our journey through cancer. They showed the highs and lows, the struggles and triumphs, the pain and the love that had defined our lives for those eight long years. They gave us a new perspective on our experiences, a deeper understanding of each other, and a renewed sense of gratitude for the strength we had found within ourselves and each other.
Creating “HER2” was not just about telling our story; it was about coming to terms with it, about finding meaning in the chaos, and about honoring the journey we had been on together. Through our photos, we found healing, connection, and a newfound appreciation for the love that had carried us through the darkest of times.
As I closed the folder of self-portraits, I felt a sense of gratitude wash over me. Gratitude for the opportunity to see Anna’s journey through her own eyes, gratitude for the love that had sustained us, and gratitude for the chance to share our story with the world. In those moments, I realized that our photos were not just images captured on film; they were reflections of our souls, mirrors of our hearts, and testaments to the power of love in the face of adversity.
It was like looking through a diary I wasn’t meant to read, but I could not look away. These were Anna’s photos, taken during the years following her breast cancer diagnosis. Viewing them for the first time, I realized how much she had hidden from me. And over time, talking together about why she took these photos helped me understand her perspective as the diagnosed.
During those years, I focused on documenting moments of love and resilience in Anna. But her photos told a different story, a story I hadn’t seen or perhaps hadn’t wanted to see. Her self-portraits revealed vulnerability and grief: fear in her eyes, her body limp with exhaustion, and moments of fragile stillness in unfamiliar settings. Her images exposed her struggle with profound loss, feeling betrayed by her body, and the fear of leaving Jesse and me behind.
It also made me realize how much pressure she was carrying. To be a good mom, a supportive partner, to stay strong, beautiful, composed — even as her body was being torn apart. I remember showing her a photo I took during the thick of treatment. She was emaciated from chemo and radiation. Her reaction startled me: “Wow, look how good I looked. I was so thin.” That moment revealed to me how much she had internalized expectations of her appearance as a woman. Seeing her photos next to mine, I started to realize just how much I hadn’t fully seen.
Amid the darkness, Anna’s photos revealed moments of light, our son resting with melting ice cream in his hand, roses leaning into the sunlight, and a tender self-portrait of her kissing her mother’s forehead. Through her lens, I saw the love she felt for her family and the beauty she found in everyday moments. These were her anchors, the reasons she held on. When I showed her the folder and asked why she hadn’t shared the photos, she seemed surprised. She barely remembered taking many of them, lost in the fog of chemo brain, radiation exhaustion, and depression. As we talked, she opened up about feeling disconnected from her body, grieving her lost fertility, and the guilt she was feeling over what she thought she put us through.
Anna, a talented photographer, bravely shared her raw emotions and struggles with cancer through her powerful images. She openly admitted to feeling deep and lingering anger at cancer, at her body, and at herself. Her photographs captured moments of vulnerability, strength, fear, and isolation, revealing a woman grappling with the scars of illness while reclaiming parts of herself.
Through Anna’s lens, her husband Jordan gained a new perspective on their journey. He realized that he had misunderstood her experience, focusing on her strength while her photos unveiled the fear, anger, and isolation she carried. Anna’s photography also shed light on Jordan’s vulnerability, showing him slumped in hospital chairs, clinging to their son. These moments of vulnerability were not seen as weaknesses but as acts of love.
As Anna’s images continued to evolve, they reflected a delicate balance of pain and beauty. She found joy in their son’s laughter, solace in nature, and moments of love within their family. Her photos challenged Jordan’s preconceived notions and brought them closer together by truly seeing each other in a new light.
One striking self-portrait captured Anna resting on the beach at Coney Island after chemotherapy, embodying both resilience and vulnerability. Another poignant image showed Jordan and their son sleeping, a moment that made Anna feel safe. These photos not only told Anna’s story but also challenged and reshaped Jordan’s understanding of their shared journey.
Anna and Jordan Rathkopf, Brooklyn-based photographers and co-founders of The Rathkopfs, specialize in visual storytelling centered on identity and health. Their collaborative work, including the book “HER2: The Diagnosed, The Caregiver and Their Son,” documents their family’s journey through breast cancer. Through their photography, they continue to inspire and connect with others facing similar challenges. The world of technology is constantly evolving, with new advancements and innovations being made every day. One of the most exciting developments in recent years is the rise of artificial intelligence (AI). AI has the potential to revolutionize our lives in countless ways, from improving healthcare and transportation to enhancing our entertainment experiences.
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