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Science can be a heavy topic. Whether you’re learning or teaching, all that deep thinking can sometimes give you a brain cramp! Thank goodness science can be pretty humorous too. Here are our favorite cheesy science jokes and funny puns to share with your students. These science jokes are just the formula you need for a few good laughs!
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Biology Jokes
1. Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
2. Two blood cells met and fell in love.
Alas, it was all in vein.
3. What do you call a biologist’s self-portrait?
A cell-fie.
4. What do phlebotomists say before they take your blood?
B positive!
5. What do protons and life coaches have in common?
They know how to stay positive.
6. What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection?
“Is there antibody out there?”
7. Why do researchers look forward to Fridays?
They can wear genes to work.
8. Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
There was no chemistry.
9. Why do plants hate algebra?
It gives them square roots.
10. Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties?
Because he was a fungi.
11. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
12. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
13. What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
14. Why did the amoeba fail its math test?
Because it multiplied by dividing.
15. What did the femur say to the patella?
“I knee’d you!”
16. What kind of dog loves science?
A Lab-rador retriever.
17. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The living room.
18. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
“Where’s Pop corn?”
19. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green.
20. Why did the biology teacher go on a diet?
Because they had too many cells.
Chemistry Jokes
21. I was reading a book on helium.
I couldn’t put it down!
22. Why is the pH of YouTube very stable?
Because it constantly buffers.
23. What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid.
24. Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
25. I lost an electron!
Are you positive?
26. What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs?
“Sorry for your sulfering.”
27. Where did the chemist have his lunch?
On a periodic table.
28. Why did the chemist hang up periodic table posters everywhere?
It made him feel like he was in his element.
29. Why is combining a proton and an electron to make a neutron so popular?
It’s free of charge.
30. What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
Aaaaargon.
31. Why do chemists love nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.
32. What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.
33. Why do elements make terrible friends?
They’re always reacting.
34. Why are metals so calm?
They don’t easily get alloyed.
35. Why did sodium break up with chlorine?
Because it felt salty.
36. Why was the molecule so calm?
It was in a stable relationship.
37. What’s a chemist’s favorite plant?
An ele-mint.
38. Why don’t we ever gossip in chemistry class?
Too many reactions.
39. Want to hear a potassium joke?
K!
40. What did oxygen say to magnesium?
O-Mg!
Geology Jokes
41. What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?
“Sorry, my fault!”
42. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
“Don’t take me for granite!”
43. Why don’t geologists like scary movies?
Because they’re petrified.
44. How do geologists ask each other out?
“Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”
45. What does a rock want to be when it grows up?
A little boulder.
46. What did the earthquake say to the volcano?
“You’re a hot mess!”
47. Why are mountains so funny?
Because they’re hill areas.
48. What’s a geologist’s favorite type of music?
Rock.
49. Why are some rocks so easygoing?
They’re sedimentary, my dear.
50. Why can’t you play hide-and-seek with a mountain?
It always peaks.
51. Why are geologists so calm?
They just take everything in strata.
52. What’s a geologist’s favorite snack?
Rock candy.
53. Why did the geologist quit his job?
The pressure was too much.
54. What kind of stories do rocks tell?
Bedtime stories.
55. How do rocks clean themselves?
They take a quartz bath.
Physics Jokes
56. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant!
57. Since light travels faster than sound …
People may appear bright until you hear them speak.
58. Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
A burger is in its ground state.
59. Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
That’s how you become a black hole.
60. How do you throw a party in space?
You planet.
61. What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight?
“I’m sick of your negativity.”
62. Why can’t you trust an atom’s jokes?
They always go nuclear.
63. How do photons get around?
They take the light rail.
64. What’s a physicist’s favorite amusement park ride?
The Gravitron.
65. How does the universe hold a party?
It invites all the stars.
66. Why did the neutron go to therapy?
It was having a meltdown.
67. What did the quantum physicist say to the stressed-out student?
“Don’t worry, it’s all relative.”
68. Why can’t physicists use the phone?
Because they can’t handle the static.
69. Why did the physicist bring a ladder to class?
To reach new heights in learning.
70. How does a physicist stay warm?
They stand next to an absolute zero.
71. Why did the tachyon break up?
It was moving too fast.
72. Why did the scientist put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash.
73. Why do physicists love elevators?
They’re uplifting.
74. What’s a physicist’s favorite meal?
Fission chips.
75. Why did Einstein hate playing hide-and-seek?
Because he was always relatively easy to find.
General Science Jokes
76. How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
77. What do computers like to eat?
Chips.
78. What can run but cannot walk?
Water.
79. Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize.
80. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
Because it had no body to go with.
81. What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy hair.
82. What kind of tree can fit into your hand?
A palm tree.
83. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.
84. Why did the cloud date the fog?
Because he was so down to earth.
85. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
“You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”
86. Which type of books are the hardest to get through?
Friction books.
87. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.
88. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister.
89. What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade?
Bio-degraded.
90. Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything.
91. Why is the ocean so salty?
The land never waves back.
92. What did the science book say to the math book?
“You’ve got problems.”
93. What sound does a subatomic duck make?
Quark.
94. What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
A ferrous wheel.
95. What type of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
2 Na.
96. Why are scientists so neat?
They’re all about clean experiments.
97. Why did the scientist bring string to the lab?
To tie up some loose ends.
98. What do you get when you cross a scientist with a baker?
Mixed results.
99. Why did the scientist take up gardening?
They heard it was a matter of growth.
100. What’s a biologist’s favorite instrument?
A cell-o.
101. How does a chemist explain having a temper tantrum?
“Sorry, I just reached my boiling point.”
102. Why can’t you trust an atom’s story?
It’s full of half-lives.
103. Why did the photon say it was “just passing through”?
It was traveling light.
104. Why did the engineer break up with the physicist?
She just had too much potential energy.
105. Why did the scientist break up with their telescope?
They just couldn’t see eye to eye.
106. How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
107. Why did the bacteria fail their math test?
They couldn’t multiply.
108. What did one DNA strand say to the other?
“Stop copying me!”
109. Why did the robot go on vacation?
Because it needed to recharge its batteries.
Science Puns
110. Let’s go! It’s time to get up and atom.
111. This is a once in a lifetime photon opportunity.
112. I break for fission chips.
113. You’re as molecule as a cucumber.
114. Gravity really keeps me grounded.
115. Oh chemis-tree, o-chemis-tree, how lovely are thy branches.
116. The river is moving flowly but surely.
117. I was boron ready to study chemistry.
118. Do I have to cell out everything for you?
119. These leftovers are past their cell-by date.
120. Don’t go earth-quaking my heart.
121. Think outside the Bunsen burner.
122. It’s all relativity to me.
123. We’re mixing it up in the lab of luxury!
124. Don’t let me amp your style.
125. Electricity is charger than life.
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Plus, if you loved these science jokes, check out our favorite math jokes and history jokes.
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