In today’s society, a pervasive lack of confidence has led many to doubt their own decision-making abilities. This erosion of self-trust is often compounded by reliance on technology, influencers, and societal pressures, further diminishing self-esteem.
When self-esteem is low, individuals often lose faith in their own judgment and begin to depend on others’ opinions, which can sometimes be irrelevant or even detrimental to their personal interests.
It’s common to notice that people tend to doubt their judgment in situations where:
- Authorities are present
- Information is ambiguous
- Opinions are passionately expressed
- Outcomes carry significant consequences
- Social pressures are intense
- There is a strong desire to appease others
PTP: Propensity To Please
A condition I’ve identified as PTP, or Propensity to Please, is particularly pronounced. It leads individuals to compromise their goals, time, money, and even beliefs to gain approval from others. This behavior severely undermines their decision-making autonomy.
Developing trust in one’s own judgment can significantly enhance self-esteem, which in turn reinforces confidence in decision-making. Good judgment involves making thoughtful, successful choices and devising effective solutions.
The main advantage of self-esteem and sound judgment is that they empower you to make decisions independently. Conversely, relying on others’ standards—whether based on fame, reputation, appearance, or assertions—can lead to poor decisions that negatively impact you.
Consider if you’ve ever purchased a Segway, owned a pet rock, or invested in ineffective remedies or a disappointing vacation, all because you relied on others’ opinions instead of trusting your own.
To better trust your own judgment, actively evaluate your options and align them with your best interests. Cultivate the confidence to realistically assess potential outcomes—both positive and negative—of any decision.
Low Esteem vs. High Esteem
Those with low self-esteem often exaggerate the negative aspects and undervalue the positive ones. Self-esteem acts as a guide, helping you weigh the pros and cons, allocate time for research, apply critical thinking, and assess the feedback you receive.
High self-esteem is essential for determining the best course of action, discerning what is trustworthy, and questioning dubious information.
If you believe there is room for improvement in these areas, consider the following points, bearing in mind that self-esteem can often outweigh experience:
- Where did the idea or situation originate? Evaluate the source’s reliability. On social media, for instance, people may create their own narratives and only interact with those who share their beliefs. It’s crucial to discern whether statements or ideas are factually correct, merely opinions, or false.
- What problem are we trying to address? In education, for example, suggested solutions often involve changing curricula, teacher salaries, or board authority. However, the core issue is that children are not learning, and the primary stakeholders are the students and parents, not educators or politicians.
- What are the consequences of misunderstanding the true extent of potential outcomes? For instance, when Netflix raised prices for its DVD and streaming services, it lost 800,000 subscribers. Similarly, misguided marketing strategies by companies like Cracker Barrel, Budweiser, and Target highlight the risks of underestimating adverse effects.
Believing in your own judgment instills confidence, serving as your internal stabilizer to keep you balanced and steady in life.
Author Bio
Alan Weiss, PhD, is a consultant, speaker, and author. Through his consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., he has worked with more than 500 leading organizations, including Merck, Hewlett-Packard, GE, Mercedes-Benz, The Federal Reserve, and the New York Times Corporation. A sought-after speaker at major conferences, he’s also published more than 60 books, many of which have been on the curricula at top business schools.
His new book is The Courage of Your Talents: How to Build Your Self-esteem, Trust Your Own Judgment, and Constantly Succeed in Business (and Life) (Productivity Press, Oct. 12, 2026). Learn more at alanweiss.com
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