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Visitors will be searched for bobby pins and paper clips, as these items pose the greatest threat to the museum’s new entry inhibition protocol, according to the security director.
A rendering of the Louvre Museum’s new “state-of-the-art entry inhibition protocol” (edit Valentina Di Liscia/Hyperallergic)
The Louvre Museum announced today that it will be adding locks to its doors for the first time. This represents the most significant security measure for the Paris institution since it altered its password from “louvre” to “louvre_lol123” following a daring heist last year.
During a morning press conference, Director Marianne Cestperdu admitted that in the effort to make the museum’s collection accessible to everyone, it had become “too accessible … akin to inviting someone to climb through a window and escape with the crown jewels.”
Following last fall’s shocking theft, where criminals managed to steal invaluable artifacts in daylight in less than seven minutes, the museum is now implementing a “state-of-the-art entry inhibition protocol” that includes locking doors and windows after closing hours.
“In the past, any little champignon could waltz into our galleries and leave with a Renoir, a Louis XIV portrait, or some je ne sais quoi,” the Louvre’s security director, Monsieur La Fenêtre, remarked at the conference, twirling his mustache with a gleam in his eye.
“Previously, it was like: ‘You get an art piece, and you get an art piece, and you get an art piece!’” he added, enthusiastically waving his arms, alluding humorously to a well-known viral Oprah Winfrey meme from the 2010s.
Visitors will undergo checks at the entrance for bobby pins, paper clips, and anyone with an excessively forceful sneeze, as the security director identified these as the primary threats to the new security system.
“However, even these advanced entry prevention measures will not deter us from our core mission: to preserve the safety and integrity of the French heritage,” Cestperdu stated.
The museum collaborated with a group of New York City landlords to identify the most secure lock options. Hyperallergic has obtained an exclusive illustration of the prototype considered for this enhancement, shown above. The image was leaked by an anonymous staff member in an email with the subject line, “Mais c’est quoi cette merde?”
The locks are anticipated to be installed by 2029.
