Caring in both directions. The author with his son on Father’s Day.
Robert J. Szczerba
When families support aging parents and disabled loved ones from afar, the most effective home AI might not resemble a robotic servant, but rather offer quiet assistance.
Father’s Day typically involves gifts like ties, grills, golf balls, or a card quickly signed by kids in the car. My own Father’s Day experience has outgrown such simple gestures.
Like many, I find myself balancing the roles of both a son and a father. My parents, now in their eighties and living in another state, require more help than I can provide through daily phone calls. Meanwhile, my 21-year-old autistic son will continue to need care beyond any particular age milestone. I find myself caught between these responsibilities, much like many others today, trying to care for loved ones who are separated by vast distances and limited time.
Additionally, as someone involved in AI and robotics, I am acutely aware that the technology capturing public interest, such as humanoid robots performing tasks like folding laundry in demonstration videos, does not address the real needs of families.
The reality involves quiet, demanding tasks that don’t make it onto greeting cards. You might text to confirm if your father has taken his medication, lie awake calculating future care options for your child, or strive to ensure a safe home environment without turning it into a medical facility.
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. According to estimates by AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, 63 million Americans are now in a caregiving role, making up nearly one in four adults. AARP also notes that the unpaid care provided by family caregivers is worth more than $1 trillion a year. Many of these individuals do not identify as caregivers; they simply see themselves as looking after their family members.
It is striking how this issue receives so little attention. The practical technology needed is more subtle than a robot, resembling passive sensors rather than a camera in the bedroom. It involves systems that learn a person’s routine and detect changes early, alerts that can distinguish between a real fall and a dropped phone, and software that coordinates care over distances without adding another app to check late at night.
The most effective solutions feel like being cared for, not monitored.
This, for me, is the real measure of AI in the home. It is not about whether a robot can showcase its capabilities or appear human-like. It is about whether it can help families maintain dignity, independence, and peace of mind, without overwhelming them with false alarms or making care feel impersonal.
Creating such systems is my work throughout the year. Today, however, I am pausing that focus. This day is dedicated to those whom this technology aims to protect.
Today, I will call my parents, watch over my son, and appreciate the ordinary moments free from crises. If you find yourself in a similar position, balancing care in both directions, I acknowledge your efforts.
Happy Father’s Day.
