Transformation is a Constant
In a single, fateful moment, everything I believed about who I was crumbled with the words, “You’re unfit for duty.”
After investing several years in a structured and proud military career, I was ordered to leave. This wasn’t due to any lack of capability on my part but because my body had changed in ways I couldn’t influence, resulting in my discharge.
In that instance, it wasn’t just employment I was losing; it was my entire sense of self. Compounding the challenge was my lack of a plan for the future—no roadmap, no understanding of who I would be moving forward.
Embracing Change
The process of letting go of all that had once defined me was excruciating. However, I had been through transformative experiences before. Knowing my service in the Army had equipped me with the strength to face this change, I held on to a crucial insight many resist: everything is subject to change, and nothing lasts forever.
In Buddhist teachings, this understanding is encapsulated in the term anicca, or the notion of impermanence, which links closely with dukkha, the discomfort felt when we cling to fading elements of our lives.
Despite the shock and pain of that day, I remained intact. Having navigated the journey of letting go multiple times, I recognized it was time to move on once more.
Seeking New Horizons
At the age of seventeen, I stood at a different precipice. My upbringing was marked by scarcity, devoid of clear direction or financial stability, and I felt no intrinsic belief in my value.
Yet, I craved something more. Although I couldn’t visualize what that “more” entailed, the gravity of my circumstances compelled me to escape. In search of direction, I followed the path many take: I enlisted in the military.
What I didn’t foresee then was that this decision would offer not solely a salary and discipline but also impart a greater sense of purpose that became my first real insight into the dynamics of personal transformation.
The Necessity of Growth
Through my years of service, the Army provided me with invaluable lessons—a relentless opportunity to shed past identities and step into new ones.
The condition was clear: growth was mandatory. In the Army, stagnation equates to dismissal. There’s no room for complacency.
Undoubtedly pivotal for an Army career is a promotion track driven by the “up or out” principle. If I didn’t attain the next rank within the designated timeframe, I would face discharge. Starting as a Private, I needed to achieve five promotions to assure a full career.
Each promotion introduced new challenges, the most significant being the shift from following orders to leading, a transition that shaped my future.
Everything is in Flux
Then came the inevitability of disappearing job roles.
Alongside the pressure to progress and lead, I had to confront the reality of technical skills that could become obsolete overnight. Initially, I was trained in tactical communication systems, only for them to be phased out by the Army. Thus, I retrained.
I transitioned into a computer systems technician role, quickly becoming adept until those systems, too, became outdated.
I retrained once more, this time as a software developer, which proved to be the best fit yet, presenting both challenges and satisfaction.
However, then came the diagnosis that altered everything.
From Losing Identity to Transforming
A medical condition meant I was no longer able to serve; my career abruptly concluded. But this wasn’t due to failure—it was just the course of life.
Through these experiences of change, I had learned how to navigate transitions time and again. This time, I was prepared to begin anew.
I recognized what I had gained: not merely skills but resilience, leadership capacity, adaptability, and the ability to remain calm under pressure. These attributes were not just military competencies—they were universal strengths that could be translated to any field.
Reconstruction Phase
Equipped with these tools, I stepped into civilian life, working to intentionally rebuild my life using the same principles of discipline and curiosity, yet with enhanced self-awareness.
Something extraordinary occurred: I began to flourish in ways I never anticipated. My second career advanced more rapidly than I had envisioned, and, more crucially, I discovered an enduring truth:
Change wasn’t merely something I survived—it had evolved into my new reality.
Change as a Spiritual Journey
Reflecting on my experiences through 24 positions and 22 residences, I recognize that each iteration of myself necessitated letting go.
With each release of what no longer served me, I created space for new opportunities.
This act of letting go was not about loss; it was about gaining liberation.
Key Takeaways
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Stay alert to change. Even roles and identities we consider stable can shift unexpectedly. Change is not a disruption; it’s simply life in motion.
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Release isn’t synonymous with failure; it’s a path to freedom. Clinging to what no longer fits keeps us confined. Letting go opens doors for growth.
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Adaptation is an ongoing journey. It’s not a one-time episode but something we continuously navigate, learning resilience at each step.
These insights transcend military experiences; they are universal truths that guide me through sorrow, uncertainty, reinvention, and renewal.
If You’re Experiencing Change…
Whether you’re ending a relationship, embarking on a new venture, pursuing aspirations, or evolving into a different version of yourself, remember:
Letting go doesn’t equate to surrender.
Sometimes, it embodies the bravest kind of self-trust.
It’s how we maintain our integrity amidst the winds of change.
